I suppose it was inevitable, but the poking and prodding and testing and blood draws and, oh right, chemo, seems to have caught up with me a bit.  Still generally good, just drained and tired.  Probably also a crash from the adrenaline of finally knowing what was wrong with me and having the symptoms solved.

So I last sent you an email, when, Monday?  Since Monday, Scooter (my friendly IV stand) and I have been biking (although with less enthusiasm…the fact that my amazing sister is capable of being on the phone with me at 4:30 the morning is what’s keeping me going on that count…plus the sunrises really are beautiful) and sleeping and reading and watching Suits on my iPad with a Jambox speaker and getting my blood drawn and working through HR details with the office and playing card games with Ellen (how are they so funny? No idea but they are and I love it) and delighting in my visitors and watching my husband sleep through vitals check at 6am and getting my bag of tang changed every night around 8.

I’m now half-way through bag 3…bag 4 comes on tonight and then I’m done with the tang on Thursday around probably 9pm.  Then I get an hour of C (Cytoxan), the last chemo, either Thursday night or Friday morning, and then, after they make sure I’m not puking from that, I think I get to go home!  And sleep in MY bed with MY husband and MY cats for the first time in over two weeks!  Yay!!!

The Ativan turned out to be a short-lived experiment with me…apparently a drug designed for anti-anxiety with nice anti-puking side effects makes me anxious.  Ironic.  Or maybe I just cannot handle being stoned.  But the fact that Michael had to calm me down on Tuesday night whenever I woke up from being passed out from it was fun for no one involved.  So we’re down to just Zofran, which seems to be working brilliantly so far.

I never thought I would ever say this, but I think you all have provided me and anyone who will come visit me for the next six months with enough chocolate.  Thank you you brilliant amazing people for your generosity.  And my doctor just told me that I’m not going back to the office until at least July 23, so next week I will be home, going for lots of walks, and catching up on all of the DVDs that keep appearing on our doorstop…thank you for that as well.  And the cards, and the love, and the, and the, and the…truly you are all amazing.

AND one of you just triggered a phone call to me from my favorite politician in the whole wide world.  You know who you are, and you know exactly how much it means to me.  Thank you.  So I’m going to go weep in gratitude for a few minutes and then take a nap.

Much love to you all,


Photo by elizabeth lies on Unsplash

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