Guys. I’m freaked out. SERIOUSLY freaked out. So freaked out that all I want to do is hibernate on my couch with all six billion pages of the Outlander series. But I’m also butterfly fluttery excited! Why?

I’m getting a job. For the first time since I walked out of my former professional life, I’m signing up for a job that actually pays me money and requires pretty footwear. In exchange for this money, they want my time, expertise, creativity, flexibility, and smarts. And, while I’m dusting off my list of everything I wanted to do once I start earning money again (1. buy non-underwire bras) I’m FREAKING OUT. Last time I earned money, I got cancer. Listen, I know that one doesn’t equal the other, but in some far recess of my head, they do. And I don’t know how to work hard without killing myself. And I don’t know how to work easy. So I’m signing myself up for a job that asks me to be engaged and work hard (but not long hours — on that I’m clear) and I then need to learn how to do that without losing myself and my health inside of it. How to maintain my boundaries.

I’m confident that I can do it, but I haven’t yet done it, so I’m freaking out.

But I’m doing it.

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